Maree

It was sad but necessary

2006 Australia

grieving disappointed trapped numb angry confused in doubt ashamed guilty sad

I cried for months on end. To this day, I feel sad and at the time I felt terrible religious guilt. It was a silly contraceptive error and if I'd never been pregnant, I would have been happy not to ever get pregnant. It's good now though, to write about my abortion without judgement. Before the abortion I thought "I could never do that". But, Even though I hated doing it, I'm eternally greatful abortion was safe, legal and affordable. I would have brought an unwanted child into a life of poverty. It would have been an only child as well. I grew up on a bad family and the last thing I wanted to do was bring someone else up on a bad situation. The whole experience really woke me up - I could never again judge others for making mistakes or getting into trouble - and no matter what decision a woman makes I could never ever judge her. My one suggestion to others would be: don't freak out like I did - get the counselling if you want it before you go ahead with the abortion.

in a clinic or hospital with surgery

We were young, old, fat, thin, rough, posh, alone or with sad looking partners - all of us were on a compassionately managed conveyor belt through the clinic. It was efficient and sad. I wish now I'd booked in for the counselling they offered me but inward in such a blind panic that I just wanted it over with.

financial issues my age (too young or old)

I was so trapped - no family support, 3 month old relationship, contract at horrible employer about to end, too old really to have a 1st child, and no house of my own. And the father did not want it. It was a terrible time.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

No.

How did other people react to your abortion?

My partner with relief - he never wanted it; Some friends were great, they were kind and understanding; Other people judged me - friendships ended.

legal

Buddhism