Emmy Smith

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It was the best decision of my life

2015 France

I could easily check all those boxes. But the moment when you know that the test is going to show a plus sign and you don't want it, it is a nightmare on earth. I'm a person who doesn't like children and I am always careful. I was just so disappointed and ashamed of myself, and I still am. I don't want to talk about this ever again and I just need to bury it somewhere deep. I was also sure about my decision and very relieved that I live in a country where I can choose the destiny of my life by myself. I felt so stupid and I was feeling so sorry of myself. I wanted just sleep and pretend that nothing was wrong, but everything was wrong and it needed to be fixed soon.

This was the cheapest way to proceed (legally with professional help) and I thought it would be easily done. But in France you need to wait a week before the doctor can start the abortion, in case you change your mind. I thought that the medical way would be the easiest and less painful but I was really wrong. I took the first medicine and it didn't have any effect in my body. 48h later I took the second one and it hurt so much that I couldn't see or walk. I wanted to go home but I couldn't do anything than sit outside and wait for the pain to go away, but it didn't. I wanted to throw up because my legs and my whole upper body were in the most horrible pain that I have ever experienced. If I could choose now, I would do the surgery.

I know it's a cliche to say this but it just wasn't for me. I fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. He doesn't even know about any of this, but every day I would want to tell him my story. I would want to make him feel bad about leaving me the worst time ever. But I don't. It doesn't matter anymore, I am strong enough to get trough this by myself.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

It is not illegal in my home country or in the country I am living in right now. I think all women should have the right to do this and make the decisions of their own bodies and lives.

How did other people react to your abortion?

I was and still am to scared to tell anyone. I only told a two people about my positive test and I knew immediately that I am going to end it as soon as possible. My closest was supporting my decision and helping me to get it ended.

Liz

Eu tinha 22 anos, minha menstruação atrasou e meus seios estavam muito inchados.

Bruna

Se fosse legalizado, sofreria menos. Seria diferente

Maria sovitlana

i really cant believe that i can do it in a country where so much hard law…

Daniela

No era el momento, no me arrepiento.

Ididit

Miałam aborcję wykonaną farmakologicznymi środkami otrzymanymi od Fundacji…

Sailor Moon

1. Powody decyzji i dlaczego dziewczyny w mojej sytuacji nie powinny sie czuć…

Sylwia Zatońska

Ciąża nie powinna być przypadkiem!!!

Frida Ku

La experiencia que me cambio.

Delia

I had an abortion and it changed my life, for better and for worse.

Priscilla Silva

Oi, bom é tanta coisa pra falar ... mas vamos lá! Abortei em Março dia 17

Maree

It was sad but necessary

Carolina Posso

I had an abortion porque me sentía sola, sentía que todo el mundo se iba a…

Tamsen Reid

I had an abortion because I did not want to be pregnant. I wasn't ready to…

serenity

DECISIONES!!

Bobbie

The first time I was too young the next I was old enough to know I had no right…

Fallen Angel

I had the SAFEST ABORTION even in the PHILIPPINES through womenonweb.org.

Lisal M. C

It was a big decided that I made in my life. I had a complexity relationship…

Evelyn

I discovered I was pregnant. It was about 5 weeks and 4 days old. I did an…

Beth Smith

I was with my parter for three and a half years when i fell pregnant. I was…