Hikaru

Share your story

I had an abortion

I'm a single mom, and i was 21 when i got pregnant the second time. Abortions are illegal in my country, so i didnt have a lot of options. At first i tried cytotec, but it didnt work as well as i hoped. after thirty tabs i gave up. the person who sold me cytotec led me to a sort of midwife who did it for a fee. by then i was three months pregnant. although im not particularly proud of what i did, i feel that i made the best choice: for myself, and for my 3 year old son.

2007 Philippines (born in Philippines)

im okay, i guess. the guilt is there, of course, but it's not as bad as i thought it would be. the main thing im concerned about now is my health: i wasnt given any instructions or medicine to take after the abortion so im afraid i might get an infection. but im just trying to put it out of my mind because it's been one day after the abortion and im feeling okay, health-wise.

it wasnt pleasant, because of the circumstances surrounding my abortion (no anesthetics is one of the worst parts) but im glad i did it just the same. im glad i can now say that my uterus is not government-owned.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

yes. i had been pro-choice for years, and the difficulty of getting an abortion in the philippines angered me. if legal abortions were available, then we wouldnt have to pay such astronomical prices and be forced to have the procedures done in ramshackle country clinics with no anesthetics and no post-abortion care. i wish the women in my country had more options: i wish no one had to go through what i did.

How did other people react to your abortion?

my best friend was sympathetic, as she also had an abortion two years before. she did her best to help me, before and after the procedure. she didnt think i was a bad person, and i didnt think she was a bad person either. we were just trying to figure out what was the best for all concerned.

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P

...Lo quería pero no podía