at just 19 years old.
As selfish as it sounds, I am so grateful that I was able to use this service. Not only was I too young, jobless and still studying to get a degree, mentally, I was not prepared at all to be a mother. I always thought that if I were to bring life into this world one day, I want to be able to give it the best life possible. And if I was not able to afford that then I would rather not have a child.
My experience was quite a unique one I would have to say. I found out quite early on, at about 3 weeks so the pregnancy test only had a faint line but I just had a feeling I was pregnant and took a pregnancy test so early on. At exactly 4 weeks, I went to the doctors for an ultrasound and explained to the doctor that we (me and my boyfriend) weren’t ready for a baby. Doctor was kind enough to refer us to another doctor saying that he didn’t provide that kind of services but heard of one that did. On that same day, we went to the other doctor, did an ultrasound and he gave us the pills. One week later, we went back for a ultrasound just to make sure everything was out. Doctor said everything looked good and that in 4-6 weeks I should get my period. After this day, my boyfriend and I were starting our summer break so I went back to my hometown and he went back to his. Fast forward to 3 weeks later, pregnancy test was still positive. 4 weeks, still positive. According to calculations, I would’ve been 8 weeks pregnant by then. I finally gathered the courage to go see a doctor in my hometown just to get a diagnosis. The speculating was driving me insane. The reason I didn’t go to the doctors earlier was because I really was not prepared for anyone of my family to find out. Sadly, the doctors did not help because he could not see anything in the uterus from the ultrasound and sent me a referral to another specialist. I never ended up going because I had to fly to Australia the next day. So at 10 weeks, I was still getting a positive result back. I finally decided to try womenonweb after a lot of discussion with my boyfriend. (He would’ve preferred it if i went to a proper doctor to get checked out again and I did not want to get caught by family.) So finally, at 11 weeks pregnant, I received my package, took the pill, bleed so much and was in pain, and finally got a negative pregnancy test result 3 weeks after that. Till this day, I am forever grateful to womenonweb and am still confused about the pills the first doctor gave me.
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
In a way, yes. As i knew from the moment I saw the 2 lines, I wasn’t ready to have a baby. Instead of feeling sadness over this loss, I was too busy panicking and worrying about where to get it done and how. My first thoughts were to fling myself down a flight of stairs and funnily enough, I was prepared to do it.
How did other people react to your abortion?
I never told anyone. My boyfriend and I were the only ones who knew about it. Thankfully, we both agreed that none of us was ready to have a baby.
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