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I had an abortion

2011 Qatar (born in Philippines)

selfish resolved relieved ashamed

i've got mixed emotions about my abortion but as of this writing, i feel relieved and happy that it is over. now my husband and i are considering contraceptives (we were not using any then).

by myself

i had to mentally and physically prepare myself before i did this. i did not go to the gym and did it on a weekend so my husband will be with me. this experience is quite scary when you dont have someone physically there who is quite adept with the procedure. i had to rely on written instructions sent to me via email. i read most of the testimonials and stories for those who had an abortion and this prepared me mentally of what im going to do. i received the packet about 5 days after i ordered online. i had to wait about 4 days for the weekend to come. i took the mifepristone and after 25 hours, i had a slight bleeding. i took the 4 tablets of misoprostol at about that time as well. i felt the chills after 30 minutes while i was cooking (i just had to make myself busy at this time) and felt normal menstrual period pain. what i noticed was i had to force myself to drink water and my mouth or throat seemed like it is blocked - but i was still able to swallow the water, anyway. i dont know if my pain tolerance is high but it is just a normal menstrual period pain (and with a lot of gas)...though, my abdomen is really painful when touched. i took a shower after 5 hours and i saw a small sac and other tissues. i did not notice them when i was changing the pads. i went to sleep a bit early than normal with still slight pain but the pain was gone the next morning. i had bleeding for about 2 weeks...and did a pregnancy test after. i did an ultrasound (overseas) to check if the abortion was complete and no pregnancy tissues were left behind.

family size

i have two babies with a year apart and after the second one, i thought it was time for myself. i was not ready to have another baby and just about to start looking for a job after being a full time home maker for two years. when i found out that i was pregnant, i knew i will not be ready and happy about it. i researched online and found womenonweb.org. it is a liberating experience to have a reliable organization who could provide this kind of support

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

i think more than the legal aspect of it, the religious conscience is the one quite domineering. i ordered the tablets from womenonweb.org although i went overseas where abortion is legal to have myself checked (ultrasound).

How did other people react to your abortion?

only my husband and sister knew about it.

I have 2 children

Christianity