Casey
Medical abortion, 19 years old
2014 United States
Although it was probably the right choice to make for my future, I have felt very guilty about it and still cry about it months later. I keep seeing the little fingers in my mind and I just break down. I feel empty and seeing little kids sometimes makes me feel angry or sad. I'm not sure how to get over this. I could not continue my relationship with the would-be father because he did not feel the same sadness I felt and it made me so angry because I couldn't understand how not. Sometimes I get upset that nobody tried to convince me to not get the abortion, although I am not certain that would have changed anything.
It was pretty painful, especially the first day and I was very nauseated and bled for several weeks. At eight weeks pregnant, I almost missed the cutoff date to be able to have the medical procedure, I'm not sure if i could have gone through with the surgical one. I was fortunate to be able to do the process by myself instead with doctors I don't know, and also I consider myself lucky because I was able to see the baby after it passed and give the baby a final resting place of my choosing.
I chose to have an abortion because everyone seemed to think it was the best choice as I still have a lot of education to go and am not very well-off financially.
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
Well it was legal so no.
How did other people react to your abortion?
Everyone I told thought that it was the "smartest choice" to make at that point in my life and they were very supportive.