Ewa Izabela
I am pro-choice
2005 United Kingdom (born in Poland)
It was a hard and extremely difficult decision, and I had a lot of doubts, trying to find my way. Today I’m sure that was a right decision, and I don’t regret it, but I regret deeply that I had to loose a child. I was sad and crying for long time – as we are sad after someone loved died or left for ever, and we cannot help it. But I was right deciding that I wasn’t able to have a child at that moment.
I had my abortion in London, at Marie Stopes, where everyone was very professional, and supporting. My pregnancy was very early – 3,5 weeks, so I had just the pills. Normally the women have strong cramps and a lot of blood after them, but I didn’t. I was extremely stressed because of whole situation, and the night before taking pills I had cramps, and a lot of blood, and I thought it was a kind of miscarriage. So after pills nothing happened, no cramps, and almost no blood.
I had a boyfriend, who told me he was infertile. We were planning to adopt children in the future. I don’t know if he really meant that, or was just lying, but obviously he wasn’t infertile. When I told him I’m pregnant, he said he wasn’t going to stay with me, and he wanted me to abort, he left and stopped contacting me or answering my calls. I was shocked and destroyed by the offensive and extremely cruel way of treating me by someone, who before pretended to love me. I went through all possibilities to see if I’m able to have this child, and I decided that I’m not strong enough on my own (I don’t have supportive family, and my economical situation was quite bad).
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
I am Polish, and for last 3 years I have been living and working in UK, where the abortion is legal. It was a great stress to face the abortion situation on my own (no support from the partner or family), and if I had an additional pressure from the legal order, I would feel in a lot bigger oppression. It was a great help and relief for me – while undertaking my decision – to know that I have a choice and don’t have to have a baby, and I was lucky not to face this situation in Poland, where the abortion is still illegal.
How did other people react to your abortion?
I was quite on my own, and had only one friend, who knew and supported me, which I'm very grateful for.