Ella

Share your story

I was so scared but it was right and I know deep in my heart now.

2014 New Zealand

While I was pregnant I felt a great deal of things but, because of the length of the process and being so sure when it happened, I knew I'd made the right decision. Right now it's one week on and things have been a bit up and down but on the whole I am feeling relieved, and happy to make these decisions later on in life.

I choose a medically induced abortion. I wanted to do this because it was at home where it was private and I felt safe. The most frightening time was putting the pills in. I had to do that myself and I was shaking so much I didn't think I could. I did it though and I knew there was no going back. The contractions got progressively more painful and I started bleeding almost straight away. I locked myself in the bathroom as I neared the time I was going to pass the pregnancy. This was stupid in retrospect but all I could think about was the shame. Unfortunately I had a reaction to the painkiller meds or something like that and had to call my partner in because I was having blurred vision and thought I was going to hemorrhage. My partner called the hospital while this was happening but everything was going to be okay. I didn't realise with all the pain and dizzying effects of the reaction when I passed the pregnancy. I had wanted to bury its remains, but I just didn't know when it happened. Eventually I realised the contractions were decreasing but I was too exhausted to tell my partner. I would lie on my knees to rest on the relief sides of the contractions until the pain started again. Eventually I got up enough energy to tell my partner I was okay, and to move to the bed. I was so exhausted afterwards. I slept for a few hours. I was most suprised by feelings of immediate relief, and *knowing* straight away I wasn't pregnant anymore.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

Yes, even though it was legal I had to go through many appointments and referrals. Every time I had to explain and defend my reasons for wanting this. It was hard but it could have been so much worse. I was so relieved that the hospital and clinic were so supportive, kind, and understanding. I couldn't help thinking how much worse it could have been for me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

I only told my mum and my current partner and I was four weeks in before I told anyone. I was scared to tell them at all I just thought I could do it all myself. But their reactions were beautiful and so unexpected. They treated me with so much love and were towers of strength throughout the entire process.

Paulette De los reyes

Decidi lo mejor para las dos

Ruth

Zaczełao sie (wiadomo) od dwóch kresek i przerażenia. Szukałam możliwości…

Ma N

Y fue un proceso duro física y emocionalmente.

Javi

La historia, tal cual, detrás mi aborto

Sofia Ignatius

I had abortion n all went well

Meri

The "choice" of medical termination is not accurate when it's used as a weapon…

Robbin

I had an abortion, and i should not have to hide it. My womb is still just fine.

Zuzanna

Chciałabym opisać moją historię, która zakończyła się dokładnie trzy dni temu.

Vicky

I had an abortion when I was 21. I knew right away that I was pregnant--within…

Letti

Ohne die Hilfe von Women on Web wäre auch in einem Land wie Deutschland ein…

Jora

Fiz um aborto e o momento foi muito delicado. Primeiro que fui procurar os…

Angeli

I had an abortion

Susy

Yo interrumpí mi embarazo...

Vicky

I had an abortion

Barbara

MAM PRAWO DECYDOWAĆ

Luna Luna

Por que ya tengo dos bebes y el mas pequeño tiene seis meses tenia otros planes…

Tiffany

I am still healing from my decision - it really is a wide range of emotions.