Chelsea

I had a painful abortion

2019 Canada

grieving disappointed irresponsible selfish angry stupid ashamed guilty afraid sad

with medicines

I was seven weeks along I currently have five children at home all ages and after my fourth child I had a tubal ligation done. I found out in January 2017 I was pregnant we felt as a couple that it wasn’t right for us for a new baby as we have just had one so we opted for termination and during the termination I had a tubal ligation because I never wanted to go through the pain of an abortion again however in June 2017 I found out I was pregnant 20 weeks along so in November I had my fifth child a son who I am very happy that I have but was very unexpected and at the time was not what we were wanting but he’s an angel and very thankful we have him my hubby and I have always been very safe but for some reason were extremely fertile and I ended up pregnant again. It seem like it was impossible because me and my hubby with all the kids and all the stuff going on had only been intimate twice that I could remember since Christmas so yesterday I went with the medical abortion from the London Ontario science centre the first day you take a pill that stops the pregnancy hormone and then the second pill that you let dissolve in your mouth anyways about two hours after the second pill I can take and I started bleeding and got a lot heavier a lot more painful. It was almost mimicking labour pains and when I would go to P I would have the sudden urge to push and I would have clots come out about half the size of my fist it was really horrible a lot of pain I’m actually starting to feel better that was yesterday the worst of it I’m hoping though that it is complete and I am looking to get another tubal ligation done again so that I don’t Have to go through this again it’s not fair on my family still the nine-month-old baby and a two-year-old those are my two youngest and another baby with the three teenagers on top would just be too much for me especially with my husband who works full-time and is never home I don’t have a lot of help which is why I made the choice I made for me mostly for my family as well it’s not an easy choice it’s a choice that breaks your heart it’s a choice that will never feel right until it’s over I am still feeling a lot of pain. I think that depression is natural but it will subside I hope I’m still feeling quite sad about it and the fact that I was silly enough to think that I wouldn’t become pregnant again my tubal had failed me once why would it not fail me again. Right now I feel like I’m being hard on myself for the choice that I made I don’t feel like abortion should be a source of birth control which I feel is what I have used for in this case I was really shocked to find out I was pregnant when I did find out and very sad to of made the choice but I hope that relief will soon follow

financial issues family size mental health reasons

How did other people react to your abortion?

Everyone in my family told me it was my choice and you were ultimately excepting they understand my circumstances and knew that whatever choice I made will be the best for mine and my family

legal