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I was extremely lucky to find a safe place for my abortion.

2007 Philippines

I had been to several OB-GYNs in hospitals. I told them I didn't want to and could not have a child but of course, they couldn't do anything because of the law here. Finally, at around 7 wks, I went to an NGO with a couple of female relatives. I felt extremely lucky because one of my relatives works in women's rights so we were able to go to an NGO with a real doctor and a counselor who interviewed me to make sure I was firm in my decision. They made me feel like they understood my predicament as I was young and very incapable of having a child. It's still highly illegal in this country so they were all understandably cautious and destroyed my ultrasound pictures and records. The procedure itself hurt and lasted maybe 20 minutes. I wasn't under general anesthesia but the nurses held my hand and told me to breathe. It felt good having all these women surrounding me. Afterwards, I was able to rest for a while in a lying-in room. My relationship with the father was no good though it lasted a couple more years (covertly) after my abortion. I'm happy I had it and I have no regrets over having it done. I only wish I could have spared my family the heartache and trouble.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

Yes. I carried a lot of anger and guilt over it because I didn't feel it was fair that only a few people could afford or even find a safe place to carry out their abortion. And I was one of those few.

How did other people react to your abortion?

People were supportive/indifferent/sad. Only a few knew because it's illegal here

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Aún grito perdón

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Yo aborté.

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