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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Someone Great

It wasn’t the easiest thing, but it was the best thing I could have done for…

Cacau

O aborto é uma escolha apenas da MULHER.

Tanya

I was not in a stable relationship and was already raising a daughter on my own.

Alejandra

Tomé una desición

maria maria

No tome la mejor desición, hice lo que pude

Mayra

Yo aborté a las 7 semanas y fue la mejor decisión.

Teaser

Nunca hubiera querido estar en esa encrucijada

raay

Com 17 semanas, sem dores nem complicações . Eu engravidei numa recaida, tomei…

Dominika

Aborcja w samotności
Głupia byłam. Mój chłopak zawsze się kontrolował, ponoć…

Sarah Brown Sara

A pesar de que tengo la edad suficiente y una pareja estable y en planes de…

Jessi

No olvidemos, que nos haga crecer

Aysella

Abortions are not fun !

Daniela

My perception of so many things changed a lot with this experience and realised…

Joana

versão corrigida do relato

Hattie Ladd

I have had two abortions. The first one was when I was 20 and the second when I…

qbAnchic

This will be my 5th abortion today. This is the first time I've do e it with…

Aldik

Niestety znalazłam się w sytuacji , gdy mój chłopak nie dopuszczał do myśli że…

Liz Hoffman

Passando pra deixar meu relato, pois sei que vai ajudar muitas mulheres que…

Inês

Está tudo bem, estamos todas juntas.