My perception of so many things changed a lot with this experience and realised how terrible the context of abortion is in my country because of religion.
I am 26 years old, visual artist, I have a Job but being a mother is not what I want right now.
If you are reading this please understand that making this decision is not going to make you a bad person. never forget that is your body and you have all the right to decide, this can happen to everyone, if you forgot a pill, if the condom is broken, if it was you ovulation days... so so many reasons but nothing is going to make you a bad person. YOU are the most important and you have the right.
I never had a pregnancy test until I had a feeling that I was pregnant so I bought a test in a farmacy and well it was positive, then had a blood test and I was freaking out. Sadly in Colombia we are educated to think that abortion is never a option, that we were born specifically to have kids, that we will go to hell if we do that so we don't have information about it, we don't know what to do if that happen to us, we don't talk about it. Is a huge taboo here, even laboratories , the place where I went to have a ultrasound belongs to the church so it was the worst feeling when the doctor "showed me" in my 6th week the heartbeat of the baby. it was a normal heartbeat like the one of an adult and she told me " this is your baby's heart " and that broke my heart because I thought it was real , I felt so bad because I knew that I was going to have an abortion but that little detail, that sound made everything way worse in my mind. but, days later when I was about to start the procedure in a very safe place that we found, (thanks to women on web and people around me that supported me in this process in a incredible way) I asked the doctor about that heartbeat and he said in six weeks there is not human yet, the heart is not even developed so the sound will never be like the one of a normal human adult. What I listened to was my own heartbeat but clinics and places connected to religion in this case Catolic... they will always play with your emotions and your mind trying to block that idea of having an abortion.
Never listen to this people. look for help online and I can promise you that you will find a solution and you will find support even with the people that you never expected and then you will be fine.
Don't take this experience as something that will destroy your mental balance, If you are going to take this decision is because you will keep following your dreams, you will keep doing what makes you happy, this is a wake up call to work hard for what we want, for what we believe, don't let this experience to stop you from loving yourself, enjoying life. you are not a bad person. Be resilient and take the best of this. Universe cross in our path everything that we can deal with and we all can move one from this, learn and become stronger.
I took the pills but they didn't work so two weeks later I had a curettage by absorption and it was very intense mentally but physically was a short procedure without pain.
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
How did other people react to your abortion?
I had a incredible support , I'm very grateful!
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