Lindseymae Mckay

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My name is Lindseymae McKay. I will be 32 years old next week. I have a 6 year old son who is truly the only reason I breathe. I’ve had several abortions. None of which I have ever felt any guilt or remorse; in fact, all I ever felt was relief.
That was until my most recent procedure.
About a month ago I realized I was pregnant. I knew before I took a pregnancy test & knew that I would want an abortion. After the pee-stick confirmation at home, I took the next few necessary steps in scheduling my abortion appointment at the local clinic. I was early enough in the pregnancy to have the option of using the medical abortion versus the in-clinic, vacuum procedure (which really sucks, no pun intended). So about two weeks ago, I went to clinic, heard the same ole song-and-dance about when to take the pills, what to expect, what warning signs to be aware of, bla-bla-bla. As expected, it was a fairly painful ordeal with heavy bleeding, extreme discomfort, with a supportive and clueless partner by my side. Now, here I sit in my bathroom in the middle of the night, wondering if this HUGE bloody booger thing that just fell outta me is the unwanted fetus. It looks like a cranberry covered wonton that, seriously, has the classic fetus shape to it. Now- instead of just flushing it down the toilet, I carefully put it onto a piece of
Toilet paper and instantly went online googling what the
Possibilities were of this gory splotch being the thing I wanted out of me- and if so- why do I feel so guilty about it? Why am I sitting here holding my tears back examining this thing looking for little fingers or toes? What the hell is wrong with me? And now I get it. I’m human. Despite the relief I feel at knowing I’m not going to be having another child, I feel horribly irresponsible and overwhelmingly selfish. I am sure this will not last. At least I hope it doesn’t. I’m sharing this story hoping someone see will share something similar and make me
Feel like I’m less
Of a monster for doing this not once but several times.

2019 United States

Painful but effective

How did other people react to your abortion?

They encouraged it.

Silvia García

decidi abortar porque no tengo la economía para tener un hijo y hoy en día los…

Aldik

Niestety znalazłam się w sytuacji , gdy mój chłopak nie dopuszczał do myśli że…

Ivana

I had an abortion and never talked about it with anyone

Luna

Lo hice en un país en el cual es ilegal, por lo que tuve que acceder al mercado…

Brenda

Having an abortion was the right thing for my family.

Amanda

E não me arrependo, não se culpe por isso
Você é dona de si.
Eu sou bem jovem

Laura

Fue una difícil decisión a pesar que no es mi primer aborto. Sé que tengo un…

Gabriella fikol

Zaskoczenie
Jako matka dwojga dzieci , która w swoim zyciu czekała długo na…

aileen

I have had two abortions

Missy

My story - at 6 weeks and 5 days

E.

Decyzja o aborcji była najcięższą do tej pory..

Embrace So

aku aborsi karena aku tidak ingin mengecewakan banyak orang. pasangan saya sama…

Lola lopes

É um momento em que ninguém quer te ajudar, você se vê sozinha, confusa, triste

Anon

I had an abortion at 15...and my life is still going well

alexandra

j´ai eu un avortement

Fran

YO DECIDÍ