Emmy Smith

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It was the best decision of my life

2015 France

I could easily check all those boxes. But the moment when you know that the test is going to show a plus sign and you don't want it, it is a nightmare on earth. I'm a person who doesn't like children and I am always careful. I was just so disappointed and ashamed of myself, and I still am. I don't want to talk about this ever again and I just need to bury it somewhere deep. I was also sure about my decision and very relieved that I live in a country where I can choose the destiny of my life by myself. I felt so stupid and I was feeling so sorry of myself. I wanted just sleep and pretend that nothing was wrong, but everything was wrong and it needed to be fixed soon.

This was the cheapest way to proceed (legally with professional help) and I thought it would be easily done. But in France you need to wait a week before the doctor can start the abortion, in case you change your mind. I thought that the medical way would be the easiest and less painful but I was really wrong. I took the first medicine and it didn't have any effect in my body. 48h later I took the second one and it hurt so much that I couldn't see or walk. I wanted to go home but I couldn't do anything than sit outside and wait for the pain to go away, but it didn't. I wanted to throw up because my legs and my whole upper body were in the most horrible pain that I have ever experienced. If I could choose now, I would do the surgery.

I know it's a cliche to say this but it just wasn't for me. I fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. He doesn't even know about any of this, but every day I would want to tell him my story. I would want to make him feel bad about leaving me the worst time ever. But I don't. It doesn't matter anymore, I am strong enough to get trough this by myself.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

It is not illegal in my home country or in the country I am living in right now. I think all women should have the right to do this and make the decisions of their own bodies and lives.

How did other people react to your abortion?

I was and still am to scared to tell anyone. I only told a two people about my positive test and I knew immediately that I am going to end it as soon as possible. My closest was supporting my decision and helping me to get it ended.

Bryann Turner

It was the right decision for me at this time.

Jay

I had a medical abortion when i was 18 years old at 5 weeks pregnant. Yes, it…

Daniela

No era el momento, no me arrepiento.

Emilamontreal

J'ai avorté suite à ma grossesse arrêtée à 8 semaines

Tatá

Fiz um aborto com 8 semanas. Eu me envolvi com um colega de trabalho, por um…

Ashley

I got pregnant at age 44 after a birth control failure. I am so blessed to…

María

Jamás sabré si fue la mejor decisión, jamás lo podré conocer, pero en este…

Riki

We're not monsters!

Nthati

It was a difficult but necessary choice to have made.

Andrea

And it was just fine. I had just turned 20, and was living in a rented room in…

Anne Jellinek

I had two abortions in my life: one when I was 21 and newly married and one 8…

CPA

Olá, tenho 24 anos e fiz um aborto com aproximadamente 8 semanas. Fiz questão…

Anonimowa

Dokonałam tego co jest zakazane w tym kraju. Nie czuję się winna.

Bruna

Se fosse legalizado, sofreria menos. Seria diferente

Irina

Cuando miro para atrás, más se afirma la certeza de que hice lo correcto.

Silvia

Nunca arrepentida

Layla

No dia 28 de outubro de 2018, fazia uma semana que eu vomitava todos os dias ao…

Edyta

Nie wstydzę się tego, że jestem teraz szczęśliwa!!!