Lucy Bennett

I was almost 5 months pregnant and I had no idea. I had just turned 16 and me and my boyfriend decided to start having sex, we broke up as you do at 16, his explanation was I was too moody for him, I just thought he was a prick, I've allways had moods so nothing unusual there, I was on holiday when my mum started telling me I should get some bigger bra's, I just thought I haden't realised I was getting bigger boobs not anything to worry about, untill my mum started to realise i had put on weight, loads of weight, a few more weeks down the line and I was a dress size bigger, she told me she thinks I should take a test, i didn't think anything of it untill it said the result, in shock, I told the father, and he didn't belive me, i left him to it untill he came around and me and my mum went for a emergency scan the next morning, everyone telling me an abortion was the right thing to do, even the father was suggesting it, suggesting for me to get rid of my baby that's inside of me, I was getting so much grief, my step dad had nothing to do with it and so we knew my parents would break up in result if i didn't have an abortion, they don't think that's the reason but it is, so I had a surgical abortion and I hate myself for it, I'm 16, 3 months after the abortion, a month before my baby is supposed to be due and nothing, no friends to tell me it's okay because i couldn't explain to anyone, both of my parents thinking i'm absolutely fine, and my ex boyfriend. still no word from him, I rarely go out and when I do it's to work or college, I don't speak to anyone new, and I don't speak to boys, I pretend i've made friends to stop ny parents from going on and I overate to take my stress and anger away, I have nightmares and flashbacks very often that lead me to tears guilt and tiredness, I wish I didn't have this abortion, I wish I had a choice.

2014 United Kingdom

grieving disappointed trapped selfish angry in doubt stupid ashamed guilty sad

in a clinic or hospital with surgery

horrific, I hate myself for it.

guilt of what would happen to my family.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

yes.

How did other people react to your abortion?

No one really knew, a few hugs from family, week off school and then everyhting back to normal.

legal

other