Emma

I got pregnant the first time I had sex. I was just 18 and knew nothing. I was desperately in love with the father, who was older than me. I knew we should be using a condom, I even said that to him the night I lost my virginity, but he still had sex with me without one.
He also had a fiancée. I thought he would leave her for me, I was stupid and believed every word he said.

I just knew I couldn’t have a baby, I was barely an adult myself and I was scared. I made up my mind I had to have an abortion, it was my only option.

After I had the procedure I felt relief. Then when I got back home the father rang me and told me it was over between us. It shattered me. He had a baby with his fiancée a year later.

Twenty years on and I still feel regret about my decision. I feel as though it may have been my only chance to have a child and the whole experience has really fucked me up.

Of course when I consider the situation I think I made the right choice but it doesn’t make the pain any less.

2000 Australia

sad

The awful thing is your feelings can change as you get older. I never thought I would feel so sad about having an abortion when I was so convinced it was the right thing to do when I was young.

in a clinic or hospital with surgery

I was scared as hell and thought I may actually die. I realise now I must have been in severe shock. All I remember was walking down a dark corridor into a surgical room, then I remember lying down with my legs in stirrups, counting back from ten. Then I woke up and some nurse was checking a pad between my legs to see how bad the bleeding was. It is literally like a nightmare that happened to someone else.

my age (too young or old)

I wanted to go to University

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

No.

How did other people react to your abortion?

My family was very supportive.

illegal

no religion