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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Alexa

Ojala alguna vez me perdones... pero fue. La mejor decisión..

Emmy Smith

It was the best decision of my life

Ivana

I had an abortion and never talked about it with anyone

Abril

Por un aborto libre, seguro y gratuito.

Maca

Tuve suerte...

Luna

Aún grito perdón

Natali

no es una decisión fácil, tienes que tomar los pros, contras y ponerlos en una…

Dawn & Kevin

I had two abortions

Lauri Laura

Nunca imaginé llegar a esto😔

Yasmin Lara

Bom,eu encontrei vários relatos e quis deixar o meu bom eu tenho só 17 anos e…

A.

Pomimo zastosowanej antykoncepcji, zaszłam w ciążę. Brałam tabletki.

Mar Tina

Todo es muy reciente ... estoy recuperandome hace tan solo dos dias que sucedio.

Alice

Nunca imaginei que tomaria essa decisão, mas foi melhor no momento...

Macarena

Yo aborte , con oxapros en Buenos Aires tengo 24 años

Aldik

Niestety znalazłam się w sytuacji , gdy mój chłopak nie dopuszczał do myśli że…

serena serena

Yo aborte. No culpo por haberlo hecho, sino por no haberme cuidado. Desde el…