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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Eli

Difícil decisión

serenity

DECISIONES!!

Sarah Menezes

Abortamento

Sharon

I don't regret my abortion.

Luciana

Hace exactamente 1 año y dos meses. Arranque el 2017 con todo. Supe el día que…

Jordan

The reviews were scary and I was afraid of what would happen when I took the…

Gaby

Força, tudo que precisa!

Natali

no es una decisión fácil, tienes que tomar los pros, contras y ponerlos en una…

Abbie

I had an abortion and don't regret it.

Claire

My first abortion took place when I was 19 and the second, when I was 26. I…

SD

I had an abortion. It was in October of 2008, when I was 21. The guy I was…

britta

Something that has carried with me ever since.

Daniela

Tengo una hija de 4 años, pero aun asi yo aborte este año.

Paloma

Decidida, sin culpa ni arrepentimiento, soy fiel a mi misma.

luz

getting thru the pain.

Dana Bronte

Muerte de un ángel.

Lorena Lore

Yo aborte con 5 semanas de gestacion !! No ago responsable a nadie yo me ago…

F. B

Vivi 2 meses em um pesadelo