Kate
and I'm so relieved
2016 Canada
Disbelief that I had such an experience but relief that the pregnancy is over. The abortion itself was fine, it was being pregnant when I did not want to be and trying to get on with my life and keep it a secret until it was over. Dealing with other people's feelings that they projected onto me was the worst part. I got an IUD a couple of months later so hopefully I will never have to endure an unintended pregnancy again. Lesson learned.
I live in a small city in Canada and was originally told I would have to wait nearly two months until the doctor could get me in for surgery. In the end I only had to wait one month, but it was the longest month of my life and really contributed to the relief I felt once it was all over. I was prescribed misoprostol to insert a few hours before the scheduled procedure, however no one warned me that it would cause me to start miscarrying. I was admitted to the hospital early and the nurses collected every clot of blood to check if the fetus had passed, in the end they went ahead with the procedure just to make sure it was all out. The moment I woke up from the surgery and realized it was all over was the most relieved I've ever felt in my life. My best friend didn't believe me that I didn't cry, but if I did it would have been tears of joy that the nightmare of an unwanted pregnancy had ended.
I have never wanted children and this experience cemented what I already knew.
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
Not really, I was just grateful that I was able to get an abortion without much hassle and that it was free, otherwise it would have made an already difficult experience even moreso.
How did other people react to your abortion?
My boyfriend was as supportive as he knew how to be. The only other people I told were my best friend, my closest sister and my mom. They were all pretty supportive of my choice but also treated it like it was a heart-wrenching and difficult decision for me and still haven't accepted that I just don't ever want children. My mom said she will always have a little grief for the grandchild she almost had, but it wasn't about her or her feelings.