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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 Estados Unidos

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

Como as outras pessoas reagiram ao seu aborto?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Adriana Reyes

Hola mi nombre es Adriana tengo 22 años y soy estudiante de Pedagogía; quisiera…

Melodie

J'ai avorté il y a 4 ans et demi

elusabeth

I had an abortion

Mary Adler

Saya hamil 7minggu. Saya seorang muslim dan pacar saya seorang yang menganut…

Uma Mulher

Pra mim, fazer um aborto foi um ato de responsabilidade

Jillybean

Women's bodies belong only to us. Men, families, society, have no right to…

Inês

Está tudo bem, estamos todas juntas.

mary cry

pior momento de minha vida

Stuffy (S.A.) Reagan

Involved in international travel in my 20's, I worked for a year within the…

Lorena Lore

Yo aborte con 5 semanas de gestacion !! No ago responsable a nadie yo me ago…

Catarina Fernando

Tenho 18 anos e os meus pais nunca iriam aceitar que eu tivesse um filho com…

squaine123

Not in this alone

Aga... ta...(?)

zastanawiam się jak to przeżycie i fakt co zrobiałam wpłynie na dalsze moje…

Lu

Y aunque todos los días piense que podría haber sido, fue la mejor decisión…

Maria Lopez

pensando en que dirán

Paula *

Yo acompañe a mi hermana quien pasó por este proceso, siempre fui una persona…

Bom foi uma decisão bem complicada, porque eu nunca pensei em fazer isso. Eu…

Aleja

Yo aborte. No fue una decisión fácil. No entraré en detalles del porqué tome la…

Mandy Amanda

Hora de recomeçar