Ewa Izabela
I am pro-choice
2005 Verenigd Koninkrijk (geboren in Poland)
It was a hard and extremely difficult decision, and I had a lot of doubts, trying to find my way. Today I’m sure that was a right decision, and I don’t regret it, but I regret deeply that I had to loose a child. I was sad and crying for long time – as we are sad after someone loved died or left for ever, and we cannot help it. But I was right deciding that I wasn’t able to have a child at that moment.
I had my abortion in London, at Marie Stopes, where everyone was very professional, and supporting. My pregnancy was very early – 3,5 weeks, so I had just the pills. Normally the women have strong cramps and a lot of blood after them, but I didn’t. I was extremely stressed because of whole situation, and the night before taking pills I had cramps, and a lot of blood, and I thought it was a kind of miscarriage. So after pills nothing happened, no cramps, and almost no blood.
I had a boyfriend, who told me he was infertile. We were planning to adopt children in the future. I don’t know if he really meant that, or was just lying, but obviously he wasn’t infertile. When I told him I’m pregnant, he said he wasn’t going to stay with me, and he wanted me to abort, he left and stopped contacting me or answering my calls. I was shocked and destroyed by the offensive and extremely cruel way of treating me by someone, who before pretended to love me. I went through all possibilities to see if I’m able to have this child, and I decided that I’m not strong enough on my own (I don’t have supportive family, and my economical situation was quite bad).
Had de illegaliteit van je abortus invloed op je gevoelens?
I am Polish, and for last 3 years I have been living and working in UK, where the abortion is legal. It was a great stress to face the abortion situation on my own (no support from the partner or family), and if I had an additional pressure from the legal order, I would feel in a lot bigger oppression. It was a great help and relief for me – while undertaking my decision – to know that I have a choice and don’t have to have a baby, and I was lucky not to face this situation in Poland, where the abortion is still illegal.
Hoe reageerden andere mensen op je abortus?
I was quite on my own, and had only one friend, who knew and supported me, which I'm very grateful for.