Ashley Engbrecht

At the young age of 17, I was the victim of sexual assault. There is nothing more terrifying than someone taking your control from you in the most viscious way possible. As a result of this incident, I became pregnant. I was so ashamed and full of fear, as I didn't want this for myself or ask for it in any way. I didn't tell anyone but my mother. I didn't tell anyone as I feared backlash from friends who were clearly against it, but I knew what was right for me, and it was not to graduate high school carrying a child of rape. I was able to receive access to misoprostol at a planned parenthood facility. Two days later I miscarried in the most painful event I've ever experienced. My mother rushed me to the hospital to receive treatment. The judgement and negativity I received from certain nurses was almost unbearable, I am glad I was doped up on morphine for most of the night. All I felt from then on was shame.. Am I monster? I am now 23 years old and I look back, healed but scarred, and see what I have accomplished, who I've become, and who I will be because I had the opportunity and choice to change my destiny. I wasn't destined to be a mother at 17. Many times after my experience I had friends go through the same thing. Only then did I share my story for the first time and realize I wasn't alone. What I did should not be shamed. I will graduate from college in May and start graduate school for Early Childhood Education in the fall.

2010 United States

selfish resolved relieved confident confused ashamed sure guilty afraid

I felt so many different feelings at once. I was confident in my decision but I've never felt anything so heart wrenching in my life. It was still I tough choice, but one I am glad I made.

with medicines

Painful, but I believe the pain I experienced is not common. I had no complications following the process.

rape/incest my education my age (too young or old) my personal reasons for not wanting a child

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I have kept it very much a secret. I have only told people who I knew would be supportive, as I feared ridicule. 6 years after the abortion, I finally told my father. He was very compassionate and supportive, which surprised me with his conservative views. Many of my family and friends to this day do not know.

legal

Christianity