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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

britta

Something that has carried with me ever since.

Yeniffer

Soy madre soltera trabajo por un sueldo miserable tengo 2 hijos vivo de…

B.

Uma decisão que precisa ser feita rápida porém pensada

Abbie

I had an abortion and don't regret it.

Maree

It was sad but necessary

elusabeth

I had an abortion

Louise Harper

I have had two abortions. One at the age of 22 which I paid privately for at 9…

Emmy Smith

It was the best decision of my life

Beth Smith

I was with my parter for three and a half years when i fell pregnant. I was…

Saraith saraith

Perdoneme mi bebe, te amare siempre!

Jamie

And I am so happy! I am so lucky that I had the choice to have an abortion! The…

chiquiss67

Hola.

Tengo 22 años y aborte en febrero de este año. Me di cuenta de que estaba…

I had an abortion..W słońcu ludzie wyglądają tak, jakby zasługiwali na to, aby…

Kendra

I had my first abortion. The experience was very difficult. I went back and…

Silvia

Nunca arrepentida

Rachelle

I have had 3 abortions, one clinical, 2 medical. I do not regret those…

M

At first i didn't know i was pregnant until i noticed i was vomiting a lot, but…

Camila

Yo aborté los miedos, la pena, el vacío y el amor.

Isabelle

Bom, estou escrevendo aqui pois os relatos de vocês que me deram forças. Eu não…