L

Share your story

My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

How did other people react to your abortion?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Constanza Arely

El ser madre debe ser una decisión, una de las mejores experiencias que vive…

Jo

I'm in a loving relationship and it wasn't too long ago when I found out I was…

Jane

I had 2 abortions

Mar Tina

Todo es muy reciente ... estoy recuperandome hace tan solo dos dias que sucedio.

Grace

12 Weeks 2 Days Medical Abortion Experience

Ruth

Zaczełao sie (wiadomo) od dwóch kresek i przerażenia. Szukałam możliwości…

Javiera

Yo aborte en Chile, en pandemia gracias a Wow

Daisy

Miałam aborcję. I nie jestem z tego dumna.
19 lutego 2020 roku zrobiłam test…

Lucille 2

I had an abortion. I got pregnant from a brief relationship and very…

elizabet campos

aborte hace 3 semanas y tenia un embarazo de 3 semanas nose aun si fue la…

carmilla

J'ai avorté quand j'avais 18 ans. Je ne le regrette pas, je suis fière d'avoir…

Angeli

I had an abortion

Sara

Siedziałam przed psychiatrą, opowiadając jej wydarzenia sprzed ostatnich…

Abree

Medical abortion at 9wks 5days

มานี ชูใจ

ฉันมีปัญหาหลายด้านไม่ว่าจะเป็นเรื่องครอบครัว การเงิน…

Serena

I had an abortion

Mary

I can now carry on with life.

SD

I had an abortion. It was in October of 2008, when I was 21. The guy I was…