Miriam

The 10 weeks I was pregnant were the happiest weeks of my life. My husband, (then fiancé) convinced me to have an abortion because we were not married yet and his family and culture is extremely religious and in order to not cause problems within the family, I agreed only because he promised to give me another baby after we got married the following month. I did not want the abortion. As the medical staff prepped me for the procedure, I cried until the anesthesiologist put me to sleep. When I woke up, I was overcome with sadness and remorse. I could not believe I had just killed my baby. This was two months ago and I have been very sad, irritable, angry and I'm worried at my age of 33 that I made the worst decision of my life. I want to be a mother so badly.

2017 India

grieving disappointed trapped angry ashamed guilty sad

I hope I can get pregnant again. I want to have a family. I don't have anyone to talk to about this that is why I am seeking sharing on this online platform. I am wondering if the pain will ever go away. Will I feel some relief when I am pregnant again? I am having trouble forgiving myself from r this action. I feel it as the biggest regret of my life.

in a clinic or hospital with surgery

The medical staff was very professional. This was my first pregnancy. I was very nervous not only to get an abortion in the first place, but to have it done at a hospital in India was additionally nerve wracking. The OB/GYN was a very good doctor.

problems with my relationship

Husband concerned about social/cultural issues related to us not being married yet.

How did other people react to your abortion?

The only person who knows is my husband. He was relieved because he did not want his family to find out.

legal

Islam