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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

Benze ntoni abanye abantu xa ukhupha isisu?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Nadia

Le habia escrito una blanca cancion del amor entre una nube y un pez volador.

Bom foi uma decisão bem complicada, porque eu nunca pensei em fazer isso. Eu…

Sara

Siedziałam przed psychiatrą, opowiadając jej wydarzenia sprzed ostatnich…

Jess

I was let down by birth control and had two abortions. During my second…

Tanya

I was not in a stable relationship and was already raising a daughter on my own.

Angela

Pregnancy and abortion - what a trip.

Jess

*No podía ser* 11sem

Daisy

Miałam aborcję. I nie jestem z tego dumna.
19 lutego 2020 roku zrobiłam test…

Nthati

It was a difficult but necessary choice to have made.

Any Weather

Merci à toutes les femmes qui ont lutter pour le droit d'avorter! Merci à…

Rocio Rocio

14 semanas

yerlina

mi decision.una eleccion

Georgina

Punto y coma.

josie

I had an abortion and now feel I have 10kgs off my shoulders alone, a little…

Kiara

Lo hice por amor al bebé, no me merecía como mamá.

Atenea

No eres la única. No estás sola. Transformalo en algo positivo para tu vida.

Key

I was too careless after meeting a guy when I was in a vulnerable period and…

Julia

Uratowałam sobie życie

Raqueli

misto de melancolia e alívio

Ashley

I got pregnant at age 44 after a birth control failure. I am so blessed to…