Amarie
I got pregnant by the guy I was only dating for 2 months. I found out about it a month after I cut ties with him and the same time that I got back together with my girlfriend, I was at the peak of my career and was already establishing a name for myself and a baby was not something I need at this time.
2020 Philippines
I was so sure of going through the whole process. I never really had second thoughts about the abortion because I knew that if I went through with the pregnancy my family would be disappointed in me. I was in the right age to have a child actually but I didn't want my parents to find out that I got pregnant by the guy I was only seeing for 2 months and given that all the while they were thinking that I was still in a relationship with my girlfriend. The process was so painful and when it was over a surge of emotions hit me. When I first felt the embryo come out, I felt relieved that I was not in pain anymore. But when I had a closer look, I could see that it looked more human and it made me feel some kind of way. i thought it would just be a clot of blood or whatsoever but it was more than that. My heart melted and it made me confused. Did I do the right thing? Will I be able to carry this memory around for years to come? For now, all I know (or atleast I think I know) is I made the right decision because I knew that I could never give the baby the life it deserved. I was still figuring myself out and I so focused on achieving my personal goals and a baby was not what I needed at this time. I might come off as selfish but I believe it was the best decision for the both of us. I made a promise to myself and to the baby that moving forward, I'd be working hard on improving myself and grind harder to reach success. I owe it to my unborn child whatever I will be in the future. I will never let that sacrifice be in vain. To all the ladies out there, we have to right to whatever we choose to do with our life and our bodies. Let's redeem ourselves to give justice to the lives that we had to sacrifice. To my unborn baby - you will always be remembered. Everything I'll do will be in honor of you. In another life, my love.
Took meds by myself and my girlfriend spent the night at my place, to make sure I was okay. The process was not easy at all. It was excruciating. I can't sit right and I can't find the right position just to get myself comfortable. I couldn't even sleep because the pain grew over time and I couldn't even take pain killers. It pays to be with a person you trust that'll tend to your needs and make the experience a little less painful.
I was so anxious and depressed all the time when I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't focus on my work and I had no motivation or whatsoever. It felt like I was a different person in that 3 months. I wasn't really comfortable co-parenting with the guy I was seeing if ever I went through with the pregnancy. I was also back together with my girlfriend and I know it would be difficult in our relationship if I ever had the baby. We would want our own child in the future tbh, but this was not the right way and the right time.
Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?
It did add some sort of weight thinking that what I did was frowned upon in our culture, regardless of whatever reason I had.
How did other people react to your abortion?
My girlfriend and my cousin were the only ones who knew about it and they pretty much respected my decision.