Sam
I had a Medical Abortion - Painful Experience, Life Changing
2017 United States
The feelings I going into this were very sure. And, not to confuse anyone, I still stand by my decision. But I never thought that it would make me feel this sad or guilty. I have a strong personal stance on no children. I just personally do not want a child. But this experience made me feel sad. That I did lose a part of me and a life, and that will stay with me forever. But these kinds of experiences can only make us stronger.
Hi All, Being the second day of my abortion experience, I wanted to write of my own. Reading forums with other women's experience prepared me to know that I was NOT alone in what I felt. Back in April of 2017 I had a routine gyno appointment (for something unrelated) and during that time I had noticed odd symptoms in my body from that point up until the time I took my first pregnancy test. I had been have a lot of vertigo, nausea and some pelvic pain. Breasts were sore and this escalated to them even being so sore I could not sleep on them nor have water from the shower beat down. I continued having these symptoms up until the time I would have started my period (early to mid May). I assumed these were Pre Menstrual and not to worry, soon enough my period would start. Then those days turned into a week, and a week turned into two weeks. That's when I started getting panicky in the back of my mind. Around May 25th was when I took my first test (at home). It was four am, and I used one from the dollar store (cheapy, I know, but they do work!). Results came back POSITIVE. I felt a lump in my throat and thought, that can't be true. So I texted my bf who would be getting up for work at this time and he advised me to take a few more home ones, they could be a fluke. I bought three separate ones, all screen test (where it actually states the word on the test). All came back positive. That's when my heart dropped. Spending the rest of the day freaking out, my boyfriend came over after work and that's when we BOTH made the choice to go ahead with an abortion. It was always my stance, I personally do not want children and always said I would go this route if I ever did become pregnant. He said he would support what ever decision I chose. It just wasn't the right time in either of our lives for this. Later the next day, I called Planned Parenthood in my town. They truly could not have been more helpful for reassuring. I was so, so thankful. In my experience, since I have gone through many medical issues, some places can really put you off. Staff can seem rude, pushy or in general not helpful. These ladies were really angels and I'm glad we have a system put in place for moments like these. I went of ways of the medical abortion. I have two friends who have done the same and honestly, a surgical abortion didn't seem the right choice for me. I have had many vaginal issues (cysts, infections, pain, numbness) and figured a surgical one may just add more direct trauma to the area. I arrived at my appointment two weeks later. I got there about 30 minutes early. They were able to get me signed in and called back within 15 minutes. So by the time I was back there, it wasn't even my actually appointment time yet! I was very lucky in the fact that my insurance covered the copay and cost 100% so there was nothing out of pocket for me to pay. Once in the back, they asked me a series of questions related to testing, last period, allergies, etc. They then took vitals, had me pee in a cup, then performed a vaginal ultrasound. This is due to confirm that you are indeed pregnant before going through with the procedure and they will let you know how far along you are. I was about 7 1/2 weeks along at the time. Then I waited for about twenty minutes when the nurse practitioner and MA came in to go over the instructions for the pill with me. You first: Take the first pill, Mifepristone, in the office there. Secondly: Once you get home, you take the antibiotic they give you at the office. Third: In the next 24 hours, you will take the nausea pill, ibuprofen 800 and the four pills that will induce the 'miscarriage', Misoprostol. I noticed that some women stated they took Misoprostol vaginally. Mine were given orally. I read somewhere that they have stopped the practice of vaginal insertion due to infections, misuse, etc. Once I had take the first pill in office, they asked if I wanted to have a prescription sent for Tylenol-3 (tylenol with codeine). I said sure, why not. **IF they ask if you want this, I HIGHLY recommend you take it** After all this, my boyfriend drove me home and later that evening, took the antibiotic pill with a small snack for dinner. After that, I felt very sleepy and mostly slept through until the next afternoon. I have to tell you that, I was very nervous. After reading many experiences from women and the pain that comes, I was just scared. In all honesty. Just scared. However, I knew it was something I would have to go through if this was the choice that I wanted. At 3:00pm, per instructions, I took the nausea pill and ibuprofen 800. I also included a Tylenol-3, because I wasn't sure how bad the pain would be. This wasn't part of the instructions given, but hey, better to be well prepared. Then at 3:30, I inserted the 4 misoprostol pills (2 in each cheek pocket) and let them sit for 30 minutes without anything to eat or drink. At 4:00pm, as instructed, I swallowed what was left with a Gatorade. Between 3:45-4:30, cramps were not that bad. I took off to the bathroom to see if any bleeding had started and there was just a little. I went back to lay in bed and about 5 minutes later, I started feeling it. My breathing became very short and the pain washed through my uterus. I took back off to the bathroom leaving my boyfriend to wonder what exactly is happening. I shut myself in there and sit on the toilet, passing thick, thick clots. Then the pain got so bad I almost couldn't see straight. I grabbed for another Tylenol-3, my hands shaking so bad I could barely keep the pill in my hand. Down it goes and I end up on the floor. writhing. I DO NOT want to frighten anyone with the way I am describing this, but I was curled in the fetal position of my already tiny bathroom, writhing my legs and clenching my fists. I could only make whimpering sounds. Then a wave of nausea came over me and I vomited heavily into the toilet and feel back to the floor in my same fetal position. Nothing was comfortable and I have to say that this was the WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE. Ever. I cannot find one thing comparable to that. It was absolutely horrendous and I would never, ever wish that on anyone, not even my worst enemy. Regarding the pain, about 2 hours have passed and I wasn't answering my boyfriend when he called my name. I could barely talk. He finally just about broke the door open, and found me on the floor in tears, still writhing and he panicked. He was about 2 seconds from calling 911 when I told him that this unfortunately is normal. I asked him for heating pad, to which he went to the store to retrieve. While he was doing that, I slithered into the shower, undressed myself and grabbed the hand-held shower handle, and sprayed the warm water all over the pelvic area. Finally some relief. Barely. But it was there. In that time, my bf had come back with the heating pad and prepared it onto my bed. He had retrieved new underwear for me (TMI, but my other pair was bloody, even with the pads). I sat in the shower for about another 20 minutes until the pain calmed and got dressed and layed down the with heating pad. This provided comfort for about 30 minutes where I could relax and actually focus. Then 30 minutes later, the pain starts. I do not want to go into very much detail, but I will tell you that I took 3 ibuprofen 800's and two more Tylenol-3's, and this barely affected the pain. I layed in different positions in the shower for the next THREE HOURS, sprayed water all over my stomach and pelvis. I felt that this was just such an unfortunate sight. I felt embarrassed, my boyfriend sitting next to the shower, watching me writhe in pain when there is nothing he can do. It was sad. However, the shower was really the only place providing comfort. Also, due to the bleeding, it was a good place to be as I could wash everything down. Eventually, around 9:45pm, I was able to get out of the shower and dressed again. I was supplied with a heating pad again, as well as a warm bag of beans (wrapped in a sock, I know it sounds weird but it can move in anyway you want to form it to and it STAYS warm). My pain and cramps and bleeding didn't really subside until 11pm. This was when I passed the sac. It was strange, sort of "plop" and I knew that was it. It played on my emotions and even though I have a stance of no children, it felt very just......not good. Today is the second day and I'm able to get up and around. I've slept for most of the day but when I am up, I try to walk and sit for a bit and then lay back down. Still bleeding but not as heavy. I started feeling some cramps, but took both pain pills and I feel better. I really just wanted to share my experience, and let other women know that you are NOT alone in this. I really wish at PP that they shared just HOW bad the pain may be. They made it seem like it would be a breeze. I understand they do this because everyone's body and pain threshold is different. Also, they don't want to frighten anyone. However, I would rather expect the worse than expect the least. I want anyone to know, if you have gone through this, are going through this or are thinking about it, please know you are not alone. We are all here to support. I would love to be a support buddy in this. We as women are strong. And we will stay strong. Love to all.
How did other people react to your abortion?
Family and friends were supportive and there for me. I couldn't have asked for a better support group. I wish that everyone has this.