Mollie
Despite the intense feelings I've had since, I know it was the right thing to do.
I was eighteen, in a relationship with a man twenty years my senior. He had convinced me to experiment with unprotected sex because it is more enjoyable for him. As young and as inexperienced as I was, I agreed; and when it became habit, I did not have the confidence to stand up for myself.
2015 Kanada
I have never doubted my pro-choice stance, and I still don't. I guess I just never thought I would have to make such a choice. In the years since, while I am still sure I did the right thing, I have nonetheless experienced feelings of fear, grief, moments of uncertainty, and anxiety or paranoia around sexual acts. I continue to use writing and psychological support to work through my remaining negative feelings.
At the hospital, a nurse stands beside the whole time in case there's a problem, also chatting to keep you busy and alert. It was painful... there was one particular moment I felt a very sharp pain in my abdomen, but it was over not long after. The other women who were in the recovery room with me were able to leave after the one hour of supervision, but for some reason I was going through constant extreme cramping and I was given another dose of a painkiller/sedative, and ended up staying for an extra hour. After that I recovered with no complications of any kind.
It was very clear from the moment I took a pregnancy test, that given my life, my plans, my identity at that time, I had been in a secret relationship with a man twice my age who was not willing to be a father... I could not have a child.
Benze ntoni abanye abantu xa ukhupha isisu?
The people that knew, such as my mother -- she took me to the clinic, He was not part of it -- all were supportive to me, and expressed more anger/disappointment with my partner. Still very few people know, but those who did find out were sure to tell me that they supported to no matter what, and all that matters is for me to be okay.