Robbin
I had an abortion, and i should not have to hide it. My womb is still just fine.
2015
A part of me feels happy because i dont belive the child would be happy struggling. I now have no kids but when i do have kids they will be comfortable because i would have had sufficient time to work on my finances and meet someone i was equally yoked with, since me and the aborted child father and not together. I feel a bit guilty because i dont know what happened to the child soul for sure. I would like to think he or she went back to heaven, or got re-incarnated into a happy family and didnt just go to hell.
Abortion is illegal where i am from but if you have money you can do it. I was living with my ex and his mom. My mother told me very clearly she’s didnt care. I was in Nursing school, and people already had the wrong idea of me. My actions was being mis interpreatated. Before living with my ex i lived down stairs my mom house, she tried as much as she could to get me out. I had no internet so i use to come back sometimes 2 in the morning from sitting outside the library studying and this was seen as i was leaving a married man house so i am promiscuous. I had no oven so i use to leave the house at time at night to get warm food because that’s when it would be the cheapest, but it was seen as i am always out partying. People on my island expected me to end up alone with a child and not finish school. So knowing that in their minds i proved them right i really wanted to kill myself, despite me having a loving partner. He was himself in medical school about to graduate and i was in nursing school. A child would have put both our graduations on hold.
We talked about me keeping the child, and me going o school and graduating and Kim getting a job and since i was closer to graduating than him when we were stable i would work and he would go back to school. This is in a country where the minimum wage is one pound an hour. It was not feasible to support a child and put someone through medical school. And while i was pregnant i felt so sick, i was eating way more than i could afford and his mother was starting to notice,
Ngaba ukungabikho mthethweni kokuqhomfa kwakho kuchaphazele iimvakalelo zakho?
No, i was already contemplating death.
Benze ntoni abanye abantu xa ukhupha isisu?
When i tell someone i had it, its immediately i killed someone, there is death in my womb. There is no thought of if i had money to take care of the child, what kind of life would the child have, how would i feel with the responsibility. I was automatically the killer, while the dad was not even in the conversation.