Robbin

I had an abortion, and i should not have to hide it. My womb is still just fine.

2015

comfortable peaceful happy guilty

A part of me feels happy because i dont belive the child would be happy struggling. I now have no kids but when i do have kids they will be comfortable because i would have had sufficient time to work on my finances and meet someone i was equally yoked with, since me and the aborted child father and not together. I feel a bit guilty because i dont know what happened to the child soul for sure. I would like to think he or she went back to heaven, or got re-incarnated into a happy family and didnt just go to hell.

with medicines

Abortion is illegal where i am from but if you have money you can do it. I was living with my ex and his mom. My mother told me very clearly she’s didnt care. I was in Nursing school, and people already had the wrong idea of me. My actions was being mis interpreatated. Before living with my ex i lived down stairs my mom house, she tried as much as she could to get me out. I had no internet so i use to come back sometimes 2 in the morning from sitting outside the library studying and this was seen as i was leaving a married man house so i am promiscuous. I had no oven so i use to leave the house at time at night to get warm food because that’s when it would be the cheapest, but it was seen as i am always out partying. People on my island expected me to end up alone with a child and not finish school. So knowing that in their minds i proved them right i really wanted to kill myself, despite me having a loving partner. He was himself in medical school about to graduate and i was in nursing school. A child would have put both our graduations on hold.

financial issues my education physical health reasons problems with my relationship mental health reasons

We talked about me keeping the child, and me going o school and graduating and Kim getting a job and since i was closer to graduating than him when we were stable i would work and he would go back to school. This is in a country where the minimum wage is one pound an hour. It was not feasible to support a child and put someone through medical school. And while i was pregnant i felt so sick, i was eating way more than i could afford and his mother was starting to notice,

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

No, i was already contemplating death.

How did other people react to your abortion?

When i tell someone i had it, its immediately i killed someone, there is death in my womb. There is no thought of if i had money to take care of the child, what kind of life would the child have, how would i feel with the responsibility. I was automatically the killer, while the dad was not even in the conversation.

illegal

Christianity