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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 Förenta staterna

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

Hur reagerade andra på din abort?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Weronika

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alessandra

I had an abortion

Paula *

Yo acompañe a mi hermana quien pasó por este proceso, siempre fui una persona…

Lagard

Never had I thought I would go down this road someday

Nadia

Le habia escrito una blanca cancion del amor entre una nube y un pez volador.

Mariana C

Estava grávida de 08 semanas e não sabia!

Sharon

I don't regret my abortion.

Marie

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Aldik

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luz

getting thru the pain.

carolina

Interrumpi mi embarazo de un mes y medio

carmilla

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deedee

한국에 계신 분들 걱정마십쇼!! 낙심하시 마시고 자신을 믿으세요!

Liz Roldan

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Alice

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inteldeath

It was the right decision, and it is my choice.