Gemma

The best decision for me.

2015 United Kingdom

grieving irresponsible resolved numb relieved stupid sure afraid

I am thankful to live in a country where I can exercise rights & choice over my body. I was in a position where I could not only decide to have an abortion, but it was actually accessible to me too.

with medicines in a clinic or hospital with surgery

Horrendous - my partner and I have been together since June 2014. I had been using The Copper IUD initially, however, it caused me numerous problems so I removed it. I decided to start using Natural Family Planning, for two reasons: to prevent pregnancy (we were both STI tested) and; to track my cycle (I was being investigated for Endometriosis). However, over a year in, I miss calculated and I ended up getting pregnant. My partner commented on my period being late, so a couple of days later I tested. It was positive. I was pregnant. I went to work. Overwhelmed. Not believing it. I took another test at lunch time. Still positive. Still pregnant. I went to the doctor, I tested again. Still positive. Still pregnant. I booked a termination there and then. I went home and told my partner. "I'm pregnant. I've booked an appointment at the clinic". The scan confirmed I was 4 weeks pregnant. I booked a medical for a week later. I went in for the first tablet and two days later for the second set. "It'll be like a heavy period" they said, "go home and rest they said." I went home. I rested. 36 hours later I was fitting on the floor, diarrhea, vomitting, pain, bleeding. An ambulance was called and I was taken into accident and emergency. I was given gas & air, codeine, diclofenac, morphine and a paracetamol & fluid drip. I was screaming in pain. Left on a gynae ward with (visibly) pregnant women - who assumed I was having a miscarriage - I had to suffer in pain. Scared, lonely and like I was to blame. The termination hadn't worked, and I had to wait for 3 days nil by mouth waiting for a D&C. I was eventually taken into surgery and the nightmare was neasr to ending. I woke up from my surgery, feeling lighter. Both physically & emotionally. I was fucking elated. I wanted to go home that night, be away from the judgement I felt and be in my own bed. I do not regret my abortion. Having my abortion was the absolute best decision for me. My partner. And the foteus. There is no way we are in a position to continue a pregnancy. I in no way regret my abortion, I regret the unfortunate circumstances in which it happened though.

financial issues my education my age (too young or old) physical health reasons my personal reasons for not wanting a child mental health reasons

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Supportive

legal

no religion