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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

ඔබේ ගබ්සාවට අනෙක් අය ප්‍රතිචාර දැක්වූයේ කෙසේද?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Beth

No estaba 10% segura pero lo hice,
Yo aborte.

Bárbara

Fiz o procedimento ontem e quero contar com riqueza de detalhes , por isso…

Tiffany

I am still healing from my decision - it really is a wide range of emotions.

Beth Smith

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chiquiss67

Hola.

Tengo 22 años y aborte en febrero de este año. Me di cuenta de que estaba…

Sara

Tome la decisión ya que anteriormente (a los 15 años) ya había tenido un…

Aysella

Abortions are not fun !

Nicole

No estaba segura que iba ser de mi futuro.

María

Proceso duro,

Macarena

Yo aborte , con oxapros en Buenos Aires tengo 24 años

María

Jamás sabré si fue la mejor decisión, jamás lo podré conocer, pero en este…

Bri

I knew I was pregnant as soon as I was around two weeks. I had never been…

CJ Koivuniemi

I had an abortion. I was twenty years old and living in Ireland, a country…

Angelica

Order right away. Pill will arive after 10 days.

Liz

Eu tinha 22 anos, minha menstruação atrasou e meus seios estavam muito inchados.

Regina Powell

I had an abortion and I'm about to have another.

Yeniffer

Soy madre soltera trabajo por un sueldo miserable tengo 2 hijos vivo de…

Ella

I was so scared but it was right and I know deep in my heart now.