Kristina Brandon

‪#‎StandWithPP‬ I never wanted kids. I got pregnant in college when I was 17. It was within the first 3 months of a horrid relationship. I had no job, no car, no license, and still lived with my parents. They were completely disappointed but also very uneducated on the matters of abortion. I was too. I vomited from the first day to the last. I was hospitalized 6 times during my pregnancy because I didn't want to be pregnant. The doctors all said my body was treating it as the flu. I was put on several vomiting meds and carried an ice cream bucket to college to puke in. My labor was induced at 37 weeks. It was a very hard labor. I had blood clots and pushed four hours to no avail. Finally she was born happy and healthy. Her father/donor hasn't been a part of her life. He was physically and emotionally abusive, on drugs, and is constantly in and out of jail. My parents raised my daughter while I worked and went to college. I was devastated, confused, and scared.
I fell for a guy at college. My daughter was 6 months old. We stayed together for 3yrs. Within that time I miscarried once and was hospitalized. The doctors told me it was most likely caused by endometriosis. I was ashamed to have gotten pregnant again within a year of having a child. I chose to be put on depovera the birth control shot. my boyfriend and i got married after he graduated from the marines. We tried to conceive because we were happy and financially stable. After 9 months of marriage he left suddenly in the night while my daughter and I slept. With him he took everything. The first income tax check we filed jointly the day before, the only vehicle we had, even diapers. Three days later...the worst happened. I found out I was pregnant like we planned. News that was supposed to finally be good. A pregnancy we wanted. A chance at normal life...a family. But again I had no job because of a recent move, was a single mother all over again, battling an unwanted divorce, dealing with bad health, and was without a vehicle.
My husband paid for an abortion over the phone like the coward he is. I went through with it with support from friends. It was medically necessary and I'm not ashamed of it. I made a choice for mine and my daughter's lives. The hardest part of my decision was all the judgment to come. I live is a small town. Information spreads like wildfire. I live in the bible belt. Religion was used so much against me and thrown in my face so much it actually changed the way I believe. I've had horrible things said to me. All with an audience standing behind them....sticking up for them and their hatred. People have told me I'm a bad mother, who doesn't deserve my daughter, that I'm going to hell, and that I'm a baby killer. My abortion was at 6weeks and 3 days. Before the procedure, I had an ultrasound. No heart beat arms or legs or anything was on that screen. I know because I saw it and spoke to my nurse about it. My decision was right for my life. I very well could have died trying to continue it or brought a child into this world suffering from disabilities. A child I didn't want nor could afford. A child again with no father. I would be a 22 year old divorced mother of 2. If I lived. I made a choice. I will never be ashamed.
The everyday struggle of someone finding out or judging based on uneducated and biased logic is real. No woman going through what I did should ever be compared to a woman that murders her already born living breathing feeling baby. Ever. There is a difference. I'm tired of abortion being a bad word. I want to be able to tell my story without losing friends, family, jobs or being looked at as a murderer. ‪#‎IstandwithPP‬ This is why I chose to tell my story.‪#‎Shoutyourabortion‬

2013 United States

grieving trapped resolved numb relieved angry confused happy afraid sad

I felt so horrified at my situation. I was sad bc i wanted the pregnancy and because my husband left i had no means to continue. I was incredibly sad at the circumstances. So relieved i was able to abort. It possibly saved my life.

in a clinic or hospital with surgery by myself

I chose the most expensive type of abortion hoping that it would for sure make me not pregnant anymore and i was also afraid of pain... it was paid for by someone else..

financial issues my education genetic factors physical health reasons problems with my relationship my personal reasons for not wanting a child mental health reasons

I have endometriosis and almost died during a miscarriage the year before this particular pregnancy.

Did the illegality of your abortion affect your feelings?

Fortunately it was legal but i still had a waiting period of about a week. Also i was forced to undergo counseling before hand. Im a responsible woman who knew what i wanted. Its insulting to have to undergo waiting periods and mandatory counseling.

How did other people react to your abortion?

I was told i shouldn't have custody of my daughter because i couldn't be a good mother given that i had an abortion.

legal

no religion