Val

Am I a horrible person

2016 United States

comfortable peaceful trapped happy as usual sad

I'm only 20 and I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for 6 months now, I let him cum in me all the time and nothing ever happened so i didn't think i could get pregnant. He really wanted to get me pregnant on purpose and I wanted to get pregnant as well but only to see if it was possible for me to get pregnant. So we were pretty much trying for a baby for months, and finally on September 23rd 2016 I found out i was 5 weeks pregnant. I did my ultrasound at 5 weeks at a hospital and was very happy but at the same time broke down into tears because i have no family and friends. Just my boyfriend, so i was feeling very alone. My boyfriend was very happy and excited and told all of his friends. Unfortunately we've had terrible fights after we found out and i was in despair the entire time wanting the baby out of me. If we had gotten along better and were happier I would've kept my baby. I never told the father i wanted an abortion, he thought i was keeping our baby. I went to the clinic with my friend and told him id be out hanging with my girl and going shopping so he wouldn't have found out. The next day i took my second pills while i was getting my hair done and a few minutes after i had the worst cramps of my LIFE. I was screaming in pain for an hour it was horrible. I came home screaming and my boyfriend rushed to me begging me to go to the hospital, finally i gave in and we went. I told the doctors what really happened and not to say anything to my boyfriend, i didn't want him to know and they respected that, i told my boyfriend to go in the waiting room which he thought was weird while they cleaned me out. After I left the hospital I wasn't in a deep depression like i thought I'd be, I was actually in a calm sort of content mood. I told my boyfriend I miscarried and he cried for a few seconds and that was it. I don't know if I'm a bad person or not for deceiving him, especially since we were trying for a baby and I got rid of the root of our love in a way... my boyfriend has been physically and mentally abusive to me, he has hit me a couple times so i know i probably did the right thing.

with medicines

It was okay, when I took the second pills I've never felt that bad of pain in my life, i imagine it was like going into labor but labor obviously might be worse

my age (too young or old) problems with my relationship my personal reasons for not wanting a child

I wasn't getting along with my boyfriend (even though he was very happy about my pregnancy)

Ar jūsų abortų neteisėtumas paveikė jūsų jausmus?

it was legal

Kaip kiti žmonės reagavo į jūsų abortą?

My mom pushed me to have one, and my "friends" which i don't really have any were cold and telling me i shouldn't have it, except for one supportive friend that was happy for me.

legal

other