Sarah
2014 United States
Its so confusing. I never had a doubt in my mind as to the decision to abort. Everybody had always said things like, "It's different when its you." It wasn't. I got a positive pregnancy test and I called the clinic. I've never had an ounce of remorse for the choice I made. I'm still dealing with feelings of guilt for getting myself into the situation. I feel stupid and irresponsible and sometimes I don't like myself. I never thought it'd be me. But I'm confident its the right choice, and if nothing else, I'm proud to say I went through it. I'll be stronger in the end.
It was terrifying. I cried and was unimaginably scared before doing it. I thought I might bleed to death. I sucked it up and very quickly started cramping. Within 20 minutes I was glued to the toilet. It was very painful. I vomited and fell asleep on the toilet, then on the floor next to it. I would wake up in pain, use the toilet, sleep more, and that cycle continued for most of the day. That night I felt better. Just light cramping from then on. A week later it was confirmed successful, but debris was left behind. If it isn't naturally expelled within another week I will need a suction aspiration. I've read it's not entirely necessary so I'm torn on what to do. All in all, it was successful but I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It's lonely and scary and I wish I had women speak from experience to me and help me through it. I'd like to be that woman to somebody. Live strong and live loud, ladies. It makes a difference.
It need not be justified.
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I only told my boyfriend and my mom. They were both very supportive and I could never thank them enough for that. Still its a lonely experience.
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