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My abortions defined my life choices for decades

1986 United States

I was “that” girl that everyone didn’t want to be friends with and having been raised in a very dysfunctional family where no love was expressed physically I validated myself by having sex with men. I was rejected by most men unless they wanted sex from me and I naively played with fire. I had my first abortion at age 22 and my second at age 23, both in clinics that I found in the phone book. I told no one, except for one person who knew me and my family situation. It took me decades to process what happened to me because I was unaware of how to get support and I didn’t feel safe revealing this to anyone. My career choices and educational goals were affected by both my abortions and I’ve never had a functional romantic relationship workout. The shame of having an abortion, combined with the lack of community and family support as well as constant denial of my emontions led me down a path of needing an outlet for my pain and anger-so I put my energies into sports. I had always been a gifted athlete and I spent my entire later 20’s getting a college degree and pursuing athletics. Society defines women as “good” or “bad” and in many countries not having children labels women as sinister, selfish beings. Personally, I don’t trust many women and most men enough to share my history and it takes a great deal of convincing to make me believe a person really would understand my experience or choices. It’s because most people are culturally conditioned to criticize everything women do, how they look and so forth. Now I am 54 and I’m invisible in most parts of society and nobody cares about my reproductivity anymore and all focus is on youth. My thoughts about the world—-I believe that education can create a strong, enlightened culture. We have the potential for a worldwide movement that can save the planet but unfortunately the daily news shows that we are heading in a direction and depleting our resources with reckless abandon, much like I did in my own life leading up to my abortions. I live a quite, monastic life now and am trying to decrease my carbon footprint in the hopes to balance out the overpopulation on our planet. Peace.

Both times were done in a clinic.

I did not want a child and both men told me they weren’t interested in a relationship with me.

あなたの中絶に対する他の人々の反応はどうでしたか?

Rejected me socially and emotionally. I hid it as best as I could but it changed me deeply. I hated myself for years and never had children because of it.

Ania Kijawska

Mam dziecko, dom, męża zdecydowałam się na aborcję.

miriam la desesperacion

Con cytotex Y aun no se si fue lo mejor, pero era necesario

Rachelle

I have had 3 abortions, one clinical, 2 medical. I do not regret those…

Bobbie

The first time I was too young the next I was old enough to know I had no right…

Issy

Tome una decision

Marcella

Aos 18 anos tive minha primeira experiência com meu namorado,Como tdo…

Angela

Pregnancy and abortion - what a trip.

Mónica

Aborté por motivos de edad (demasiado joven)y económicos (era estudiante y no…

Atenea

No eres la única. No estás sola. Transformalo en algo positivo para tu vida.

Ny

I just had my 3rd son 4 months prior finding out I was pregnant. I got a…

Chinchulina

I come from a country where abortion is legal but due to my personal…

mayumi uehara

Fiz.não me arrependo e contei com a ajuda da ong, o que foi essencial para que…

Dana Bronte

Muerte de un ángel.

Magda

Może jestem bez serca ale niczego nie żałuję. ja chyba nie nadaję się na matkę…

Paloma

Decidida, sin culpa ni arrepentimiento, soy fiel a mi misma.

Uma Mulher

Pra mim, fazer um aborto foi um ato de responsabilidade